it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
