You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
