I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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