his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
