Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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