No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
