I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize