i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
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When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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