Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
