found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think pants incapable of making pants work
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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