He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
