somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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