smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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