I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
