just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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