The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
