He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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