Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize