Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
