if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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