1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Your dad touched me again.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
