Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize