yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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