I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
