i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Betty ford says i'm here all night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
