Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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