yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
