Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
