If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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