just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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