I faked an abortion last night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm passing your future prison.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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