i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
