it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Randomize
