I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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