did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dignity is for republicans.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
