i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
