We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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