if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
