You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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