Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am one with the molecules
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
