matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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