Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
