Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
