Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
