oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
