plz talk dirty to me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize