Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize