Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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