I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
