I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
