so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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