Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
