There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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