I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
