i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
