if only i could text you this smell
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
